Lets play Catch-Up

I really wish I had started this earlier so that I wouldnt have to bust my brains trying to remember the all moments Id like to share. Theres only one place to start, the beginning.....

After a painful long 22 hour labor, we ended up with a c-section birth because baby Ryatt was suspected to be tied up by his umbilical cord. With every contraction his heart rate dropped significantly and then jumped back up. These doctors did everything they could to deliver him vaginal but after so long it became a safety concern. I was cool as a cucumber because I trusted my doctors. Rowdy, however, was so nervous about surgery and really feared the worst. None of those fears mattered anymore once he saw his son for the first time in that operation room. Most my own memory of the hospital stay is blurry, but I could never forget how it felt to hold my baby for the first time. Its not what you think. I didnt have those typical feelings you read about where a mother gazes at her child and all that gooshy stuff. No, I didnt instantly fall in love either. Actually, I had a head full of questions. I looked at Ryatt and wondered first, "You guys sure this kid is mine?" He was so white and Im kinda dark, and he looked nothing like me- it just didnt match up. In fact, at the time he looked like a lil shriveled old man. Then I started to think about all the grief I just went through and wondered how something so beautiful could cause me so much pain. Many other questions were left unanswered when all of a sudden my motherly instinct kicked in. I immediately felt an over whelming call to breastfeed. I wanted nothing in this world more than to nurture this baby in my arms. Apparently Ryatt felt the same way because he latched on without a flinch and its been that way since. 

  We finally arrived home and settled in after three days in the hospital recovering. Its kinda hard recalling the things we did, partly because of the zombie-like state we were in and mostly because I was drugged up. I do know for sure we were mad-hatter happy to finally see the child that was growing inside me for 39 weeks. My mother was around to help and thank goodness because I dont think Rowdy and I would of been able to function. She took care of all the chores and took Ryatt off our hands so we could rest when ever Ryatt allowed it. If baby wasnt sleeping or being cuddled by Granma, he was attatched to me- either by breast or diaper. Im not exaggerating either. Literally, baby breastfed every two hours on the minute and pooped after every meal. I couldnt even tell you the amount of disposable diapers and wipes we went through. After my Momma left, Rowdy's mother came to visit and meet her grandbaby too. 

Ryatt was only a month old when I was left alone to do it all. Granmas came and left and Rowdy was back out to sea. I faced the next three months alone with a newborn baby and no hopes for sleep in the future. It was freaking scary! Guess it was that motherly instinct again that saved me because from the moment we dropped Rowdy off at the airport I didnt fear it anymore. I felt comfortable and I think Ryatt could sense it too. Right away we started getting into routines and I feel like the time alone with him allowed me to really tune into my inner mother. Im not saying it was easy. There were nights where I just couldnt do it and I cried for rest. But we got over it because it all passes. Those months were long too. There were days that just lingered and crawled by. Guess thats what happens when you dont sleep and you are counting the days til your other half [Rowdy] returns home. ...Oh the life of a military wife....

anyway, he did finally come home right before Christmas. By this time Ryatt is 4 months old, about 18lbs in weight and able to babble. He also had develop a little of an anxiety when around large crowds of people. So much that I had to hold off on going to baby classes (WeePlay) until it subsided. Rowdy came with us when we gave baby classes another try and Ryatt blended right in. For reasons unknown, this anxiety went away when daddy came home and I totally looked like a sissy liar. Well the next two months were fun. We went right into full time cloth diapering and continued fully breast feeding our baby boy. Disposable diapers have a funny fake smell to them and cloth is just so much cuter disposables. Ill just have to write a whole other blog post about how freakin awesome cloth diapering my child has been! 

So you are probably wondering by now when Im going to stop blabbering, so here it is. To wrap up my game of catch-up... I want to conclude that since these turn of events my life has never been the same. Im stronger and more in tuned with my natural self. Ive never been so selfless. Never have I felt such a deep love for another being. Never have I felt a stronger need for family. Mother hood has been nothing I imagined it to be, yet everything Ive ever wanted and its so perfectly fitting for me.